As my wife is getting very close to labor, I want to share a few words about what a father is, what it means to be a father, and how to embody that. 

The heaviest words coming to me are: responsibility, accountability, sacrifice, and leadership.

A father is responsible for his family. Not in a "rule over them" way, but as a guiding example to them. Things happen "under his watch" and he takes responsibility for their needs. There are the material needs that happen through work and conscientiousness. And there are the spiritual needs, which come our of an attitude of loving-guidance. 

A father is like a shepherd rather than a harsh ruler who forces his will. He leads by lowering himself in humility and putting his personal preferences off to the side.

We see a perfect icon of fatherhood in Psalm 23 ... 

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters. 
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness 
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me 
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Fathers and their children alike have the same true shepherd—Christ. Jesus references Himself to the psalm when he says in the gospel, "I am the good shepherd ... I lay my life down for the sheep" (Jn 10). 

The Psalms are awesome because they are the anatomy of the soul. A father struggling to figure things out can go to the psalms and discover the place where his own heart and Christ's heart can meet ... you can see what I mean if you read the psalm again but imagine you're reading it as Christ's voice speaking to His Father.

As a father aims to emulate what's being described in Psalm 23 he becomes a "little Christ" - a small mirror reflecting the perfect example. 

A final thought ... This day and age there is the push in society to "make yourself" and become an example unto oneself. But this leaves no room to emulate a perfect example. It may leave room to cherry-pick or "shop around" for examples of fathers or people that we like. But this has no merit if they do not ultimately serve as pointers towards the ultimate example in Christ.

I would love to hear about your experience as a father or thinking about your relationship to your father / fatherhood. Leave a comment or reach out to me on instagram @nickmakiejart. 

Nick

images: icon of the Good Shepherd (by Nicholas Makiej) and https://basilica.ro/en/good-shepherd-fresco-nicaea-early-christian-tomb/